"Everyone just fuck off back to Top Man"
"I'm not sure if I like Tom Farrers' hair that much don't get me wrong I love him and that but it's just a bit skanky."
"I like it better now."
"BLAH BLAH BLAH would like to apologise to the cleaning lady but hope she will take time to listen to their website."
"Members of the public are shit."
"Better than your face."
"Everyone should hate Hard-Fi. FACT."
"Cajun Dance Party Pissed here. 06."
All take from the male toilets, Nambucca, Holloway Road N7
- Stephen Emms
- Stephen Emms is the founder of emmspublicity.com and also writes regularly about London, the English seaside and beyond for titles like Time Out, The Guardian and The Observer. His popular column on bench stories, Bench Marks, has been running in Time Out for over a year. For his new monthly column he has volunteered to schlepp round the boundary of every borough in London. That's a blister-rubbing 32 in total. Ouch.