Thursday, November 30, 2006

Toilet Door Poetry

"I want to be a girl"

"No you don't"

"Well suck my cock"

From The Foundry, N1

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Toilet Door Poetry

"Believe in me and you shall not perish - Boy George"

"For as the wind blows it ripples, like a fat man's wobbly nipples"

The Foundry N1

Toilet Door Poetry

"Jonathan is a total twat" "Generally alright guy"

"My wife makes me graffiti the loo...how ironic"

The Foundry, Old St N1

Toilet Door Poetry

"The Rule is to shuffle, then reorganize"

"If you're into MySpace you're a fuckhead"

From The Foundry, Old St N1

Toilet Door Poetry

"This place is haven for self-proclaimed degenerates"

"You must have chaos in yourself to give birth to a dancing star"

Both from The Foundry, Old St N1

Toilet Door Poetry

"The Candle is burning and the wax ain't happy"

"Check yourself b4 you wr-wr-wr-wreck yourself!"

Both from The Foundry, Old St N1

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Toilet Door Poetry

"I came, I dumped, I left 22/09/06"

The Coach & Horses, Soho W1

Toilet Door Poetry

"Prince is living proof that Liberace fucked Little Richard"

***

"I love that French barmaid"

***

"Is your bed calling?"

***

"Make Doherty History"

From The French House, W1

Toilet Door Poetry

"Watch u don't piss on the floor"

From the ceiling at Crobar, Tottenham Ct Rd W1

Toilet Door Poetry

"Think of this. If any of this made sense why would you be reading/living it?"

"Steve Irwin is a dead cunt. Ha Ha Ha"

The Coach & Horses, Soho W1

Toilet Door Poetry

"Dammit they were right"

The Fitzroy Tavern, Charlotte St W1

Toilet Door Poetry

"I love Claire...she is in here"

***

"An Australian tourist was here"

***

"Norman, you're an ignorant shite"

From The Coach & Horses, Soho W1

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Toilet Door Poetry

"Does this make you happy?"

***

"Never trust a boy. "

"RIGHT!!!"

***

"Monkey swallows the universe."

***

"What if I never meet anyone as perfect as she was?"

***

"God I love Kensey so much!!! Please don't let him dump me!"

All taken from the female toilets, Nambucca, Holloway Road N7

Toilet Door Poetry

"Everyone just fuck off back to Top Man"

***

"I'm not sure if I like Tom Farrers' hair that much don't get me wrong I love him and that but it's just a bit skanky."

"I like it better now."

***

"BLAH BLAH BLAH would like to apologise to the cleaning lady but hope she will take time to listen to their website."

***

"Members of the public are shit."

"Better than your face."

***

"Everyone should hate Hard-Fi. FACT."

***

"Cajun Dance Party Pissed here. 06."

All take from the male toilets, Nambucca, Holloway Road N7

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Toilet Door Poetry

"Rossa sucks donkey dick oh my gosh"

Monkey Chews NW5

Toilet Door Poetry

"Up your kilt with a six of chips"

Unremembered location

Toilet Door Poetry

"This isn't gay enough"

The Enterprise NW1

Toilet Door Poetry

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act"

Monkey Chews NW5

Toilet Door Poetry

"Cocksuckers are idiots. Gays are from hell"

The Marathon, Chalk Farm Road

Toilet Door Poetry

"Play toilet tennis...look right"

The Marathon, Chalk Farm Road

Toilet Door Poetry

"Art Don't Pay My Bills. Daddy does"

Monkey Chews NW5

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Toilet Door Poetry


"Some come here to sit and think
And some come here to wonder
But I've come here to shit and stink
And fart like fucking thunder "

Toilet Door Poetry

"I am glad Kurt Cobain is dead"

Carling Academy

Blog Archive

About Me

Stephen Emms is the founder of emmspublicity.com and also writes regularly about London, the English seaside and beyond for titles like Time Out, The Guardian and The Observer. His popular column on bench stories, Bench Marks, has been running in Time Out for over a year. For his new monthly column he has volunteered to schlepp round the boundary of every borough in London. That's a blister-rubbing 32 in total. Ouch.